You know, I typically find Canadian Politics boring. A yawn. A snore. That’s a good thing though. Entertaining usually means stupid. Right now the leader for the republican party is a reality show host whose never once held a position in politics. Incredibly entertaining. Right now Canadian politics are following suit.

My expression when I found out what the deal was

Let me explain what happened. There was a vote on a bill. The bill was C-14, which is amending laws in order to allow physicians to perform assisted suicides. There were a bunch of NDP members of parliament, who were milling about, in order to delay the voting procedure. They were obstructing other members of parliament from voting. One of the MP’s trying to vote was Conservative Gord Brown. Prime MIninster Trudeau, who was getting frustrated, ran over to Gord, knocked into a bunch of people forcefully, and pulled him over to his desk. The NDP MP,  Ruth Ellen Brosseau, was elbowed in the chest by Trudeau, left the chamber immediately afterwards, and as a result didn’t vote.

Everything about this is embarrassing. The school yard tactics that the NDPs were using to block other members from placing a vote? Quite the show, but shameful. The Prime Minister of Canada barging through a group of people, yelling ‘Get the fuck out of the way’? Hilarious, but wildly inappropriate. Ruth Brosseau, pulling the flop like a soccer player? Makes for good television, I guess. Politicians are like the people who were popular in back in high school, if the cool kids in high school didn’t grow up to be adults that I actually respect and admire.

These are the people who lead the nation. They form the laws that govern us and protect the people who don’t have a voice. They’re in charge of the billions of tax dollars we provide, to spend it on making our country a better place to live for everyone. And they’ve turned the house of common into an elementary school playground. The thing is, these sort of tactics are used all the time. The ‘milling about, setting up a roadblock so other MPs can’t vote’ tactic? Apparently this is a legitimate play. Acting inappropriately outraged over something? Pretty common in the House of Commons. Spewing vitriol in every direction on social media? This is pretty new, but every politician has soaked it up.

Ask yourself this question. Would any of these behaviors, the blocking, the shoving, the elbow, and then the aftermath of insults, apologies, and rude behavior, would any of this be acceptable in your workplace? More than likely not, and repeated incidents would probably have you fired. Why are these things accepted in politics? Why does the House of Commons look like a crowd of soccer hooligans who are about to riot with clubs made of bills and legislature?

The fact the system we have in place for making decisions is over a century old is embarrassing. We live in a digital world now. There’s absolutely no reason we need a House of Commons and there’s no reason we need to stick a bunch of politicians with opposing views in the same building. Why not have a virtual House of Commons, a giant online messaging system so that politicians wouldn’t have to leave their ridings? It would be easier to regulate, and would cost the taxpayers a lot less. Sure, the discussions would be a pile of insults and barbed comments, but that’s the rest of the internet anyways. Throw them a party once a year so they can shake hands and talk face-to-face. Problem solved.

With the system we have in place, I’m surprised elbows aren’t happening on a regular basis. I’d go feral if someone’s strategy was to get in my way to prevent me from doing my job. I’d be raging, throwing Judo chops left and right. The way things are, we might as well throw them on a slab of ice, give of some gear and sticks, and then have them play over the bills they’re voting on. I’m not sure how effective it would be, but politics isn’t very effective anyways, and this would be way more entertaining.

Sincerely,

The Illustrious Mr. Charlton

p.s. Mr. Charlton really dislikes politicians as a whole. I cringe a little every time I vote.

p.s.s. There’s two soccer references in there, for ya.

p.s.s.s I can’t stand that journalists have been calling it ‘ElbowGate’. It seems throwing ‘Gate’ on the end of something signifies a scandal. Doesn’t make any sense.