What the Hell is Going On?

Alright, before we even begin, I want you to put on some music. I’ve got the perfect tracks. They’re happy, they’re fun, and most importantly, they’re royalty free.

Okay. So, I’ve seen a bunch of news. A smattering of news. I’m getting bamboozled with news, and feeds, and half-truths, and it’s been non-stop. You probably feel the same way. And if you’re reading this, you’re probably in two camps. You’re either terrified at what the new president of the United States is doing, or you’re terrified someone is going to stop you. Thankfully, Mr. Charlton is here to talk some sense into you lovely people.

No one really seems to know what’s going on outside of the White House. A lot of what’s floating around is speculation.



Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down there for a minute. Yes, Trump is forcing through a crazy pile of executive orders. And a lot of people are resisting. This is good, and this is how a democracy works. You don’t like something your government is doing? Say something about it. Start making phone calls, start protesting. But don’t spread misinformation. It’s getting harder and harder to disseminate what are real facts and what are alternative facts. In all likelihood, President Trump will get impeached before his term is over.



Okay, I hear you. There’re a couple issues here, though. Trump is President of the United States. He’s not PrinceGod of AmericaLand. He can sign all the orders he likes, that doesn’t mean they’re constitutional or legal. These deals he’s making have to get checked out by other people. You have to pick and choose your battles, and Trump has decided to pick all the fights. It’s not even the unlawful choices, either. It’s becoming clearer and clearer that Trump and his team don’t understand how politics work. The big example, for me at least, is appointing Steve Bannon to the National Security Council. Well, Trump can’t just appoint Steve to do that. The spots on the National Security Council need to be approved by the Senate, from my understanding. You need to be somewhere on this list in order to be part of the council. Steve Bannon isn’t. This might not seem like a big deal, but it’s just one of the many issues that keep coming up with the Trump administration. If the issues keep adding up, and I’ve got a feeling they will, they’ll declare Trump unfit to be Commander in Chief.

Here’s the other thing. I keep hearing about Globalism and Elites and George Soros when we’re talking about the dangers of the future. Let’s unbox that.

  • There’s no shadowy cabal of billionaires trying to put the world under a new world order. Billionaires are usually interested in one thing; their billions of dollars. Don’t say something like “Follow the paper trail”. I will follow the paper trail if it’s coming from an accountant or a journalist that’s been talking to accountants. You want to know who’s actually part of a shadowy cabal? Vladmir Putin. And Trump has been getting awfully cozy with him lately.
  • There’s a pretty good reason why people are getting nervous when Trump tears up trade deals. See, back in the day, nations were pretty nationalistic, way more than today. You were really proud to be from Britain, or France, or what have you. And you really thought less of the other nations. Trading among nation wasn’t nearly as prevalent as it is today. Then the world had a couple of really big and nasty wars. The idea was toted around to start trading among nations. If nations are benefitting economically from each other, then they are way less likely to go war. Tearing up all of your trade deals is the worldly equivalent of slamming a beer mug down and demanding a tussle from someone else at the bar.
  • The whole banning Muslim immigrants isn’t a smart move. First, it’s unconstitutional. Second, it creates something utterly devastating for a nation: The brain drain. Back in WW2, Germany started getting rid of Jews, including all the really smart ones, (Einstien for instance). That turned out great for the Allies because we took those smart people and put ’em to work. Among those immigrants and refugees are some utterly smart Muslim folks. America just told them to go somewhere else. Hopefully up here to Canada. We could always use more smart people.
  • I’m not sure if you noticed, but Trump is an elite billionaire. He’s not “A blue-collar billionaire”. Having lousy taste doesn’t make you blue collar. I know plenty of blue collar workers who have style and taste. He didn’t drain the swamp and he’s not going to. If you like Trump, understand that this is what you sound like when you’re telling me Trump is different than the establishment. I’m simply going to replace billionaire with the word ‘King’.


These goddamn King’s are running the government. We need representation. You know what we need? A King.

It’s unprecedented that a president is already as unpopular as Trump is, and if his numbers keep sliding, then it’s almost inevitable that he’ll get impeached. If Trump wants to remain president, then he’ll have to keep his head down and lay low for a little bit. But knowing his need for attention and approval, it’s likely we’ll be hearing more about Trump. And you are going to hear about Trump as long as he’s president. The man loves attention, whether it’s good or bad.


The Illustrious Mr. Charlton

p.s. I mean, he hung up on the Austrailian Prime Minister. He’s spatting with Mexico. Trump is poking the dragon in China. Who isn’t he picking a fight with?

p.s.s. This is just my opinion, by the way. I really don’t have a clue what’s going on either. But I re-iterate. There’s no shadow Illuminati running the show. There’s shadow spy networks, but every country seems to have those (or at least tries to).

Why the Hell Do We Have the Olympics Anyways?

Mr. Charlton’s been dumping on the Olympic games for the last couple of posts and for good reason. They’re expensive,  and the countries hosting the games can’t always afford the exorbitant cost of hosting the damn things. When the host country runs out of money, you get shoddy facilities, unsafe venues, and not enough doctors to treat people. This last point is especially true if you currently have an outbreak of something like Zika or the T-Virus.


Zombies would be pretty good at the 100m dash if you had brains at the finish line. ¹

I’m not a sports guy. I have no interest in sports, no clue about sport, don’t follow sports, don’t get the whole big hoopla about the drama in professional sports. Truthfully, I’m the last person that should be commenting on sports, and certainly one of the most celebrated sporting events in the world. I shouldn’t be touching this one. But I’m gonna step out of my persona for a second, get real down to earth and share my real opinion of the Olympic games.

They’re important.

Now sports, in general, are important. I don’t agree with exactly HOW important they are in our society, but if I were to choose this world with sports and this world without, then hands down I’d have to go with a sporting world.

They’re important for kids growing up. They’ll get exercise running around, and an active lifestyle is good for developing brains. They’ll learn teamwork. And the most important life lesson they’ll learn, one that they’ll carry with them for the rest of their lives, is this; You can train every single day, work hard every day to achieve a dream, only to find out that someone from the next town over is better than you’ll ever be. I’m not kidding! That’s a really important lesson kids need to learn. And if they are the best, then this society will shower you with riches and fame, or at least a trip to the Olympics. Most likely  they’ll only be average, and that’s perfectly okay. They’ll still walk away knowing how to work hard to achieve something, even if it’s second place.

They’re important as an entertainment outlet. That’s what professional sports are. They’re meant to entertain people. It doesn’t entertain me, but I can’t argue with the numbers. 90% of Americans watch sports. If you’re reading this and aren’t into sports, you are in the minority. Plain and simple. Even I’ve been sucked in every now and again. Surrounded by people invested in the game at the bar, everyone biting their nails, and then the place  erupts in cheers when a goal is scored. Shucks, Mr. Charlton was cheering too! So I can’t sit here and talk about sports without at least acknowledging that people are invested in sports.

The Olympics aren’t important because it gives kids something to aspire to and then statistically fail at. They’re not important because the world needs more sports entertainment, as most people would much rather watch football then target shooting. I’m going to show you a picture that sums it up. A picture is worth a thousand words, and I need to keep my word count below 1500.


Gymnast Selfie! ²

Mr. Charlton is going to explain to you why this picture is so goddamn important. The gymnast taking the selfie is Lee Eun-Ju of South Korea and the gymnast on the left is Hong Un Jong of North Korea. The two countries have technically been at war for the last six decades. I shouldn’t have to explain what North Korea is all about, but I’ll try to sum it up. It’s a brutal country led by a family of despots who’ve had a stranglehold on the country through a cult of personality. The Kims are thought of more as Gods then they are heads of state. The citizens of North Korea aren’t allowed to leave, except with very few exceptions. The Olympic games are one of them.

The picture sums up a very important aspect of the Olympics. That even though these two are citizens of countries that see each other as enemies, under the banner of the Olympic flag, they’re united in the spirit of healthy competition. Not with bullets or bombs, but gymnastics.

They’re another magical event happening at the Olympics, and it’s not basketball. This is the first Olympics hosting a team of refugees, athletes that have no country to call home. You know what flag they’re flying?


Here’s a hint. It’s this one.

That flag represents humanity under one banner. It represents the spirit of putting down your guns and picking up volleyballs instead. It represents the best aspects of the human spirit. It represents community, commonality, compassion and competition, all under one goddamn flag. If you’re wondering if this competition is worth the four or five billion dollar price tag, I’ll give you my opinion. You better fucking believe it’s worth the price because that’s less than the cost of a week at war. And thankfully the only thing getting shot at the Olympics is targets.


The Illustrious Mr. Charlton

p.s. I’m still not gonna watch, though. Just so we’re clear.

¹ Photo taken from http://retrogamersociety.com/tag/the-last-of-us/

² Photo taken from http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-37030696http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-37030696